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Tour of Duty FanZine

Notes From the Underground
  • CD-ROM only
  • Slash and Gen
  • Jewelcase and CD label art by stompy sara. Additional art by the Theban Band
    [Click here for a sample of the Theban Band art.   The images on the CD will be considerably larger.  Being that these are copyright of the Theban Band, please do not display this on your website without permission from the Theban Band.] 

Welcome to Vietnam, 1967, where every day could be your last. The men of Bravo Company forge intense friendships amid the horrors of the war. And sometimes friendship turns into something deeper. In the end, all they have is each other.

Pairings include Goldman/Anderson, Goldman/McKay, McKay/Hockenbury, Percell/Hockenbury, and Ruiz/Taylor.   Click on the story title to read a brief summary and excerpt from the story. 

More than 175 pages of text.

Extras include: character bios, background information, photo galleries, video stills, wallpapers, photo manipulations, Yahoo IM skins, glossary of Vietnam War terminology, and the Tour of Duty Gag Reel.   Exclusive to the zine: a collection of 45 candid photos of the cast, crew and sets during second season filming.

 Prices:

  • $18.00 Convention
  • $20.00 Shipped within the US
  • $23.00 Shipped outside the US

You can pre-order zines from Lionheart Distribution.  Find them at: http://www.lionheartdistribution.com/tourofduty.htm

The zine will debut at ZebraCon on October 17th.  If you pre-order before then, your zine will be mailed out by October 16.  Save a few bucks on shipping if you're coming to ZebraCon; Lionheart will bring pre-orders to the con.

Mel, Witchbaby and DC
Tour of Duty Zine Editors/Designers

Contact us!

Story Summaries and Excerpts:

Complicated Shadows
By Buzz

When they meet in the hooch, it’s trouble. Always trouble, like a physical thing, like a tangible blackness that fills up Zeke's hollow places and seeps through his pores. He comes here to Zeke, sneaking in after lights-out. The enemy’s out there, but he’s inside, too. The dark taste of his flesh, sweat and cigarettes and desperation: this is what Zeke needs here, what he needs in order to escape for these mere seconds. Then he’s gone and Zeke's alone. Blind in all this black.

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It's The Small Things
By Creed Cascade

Excerpt:

"We’re not alone that often," Myron whispered in a heavily slurred voice, his hand falling onto Zeke’s shoulder. "I like it when we’re alone."

"I know, LT," Zeke answered him patiently and started pulling off Myron’s stained fatigues.

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Punishments
By Creed Cascade

Excerpt:

"Roo, don’t start," Taylor cut him off. "Just don’t start with me today. Do you think I want to be here? I’d rather being doing other things…"

"Like what?" Ruiz asked with narrowed eyes.

"Like you, for one." Taylor actually wiggled his eyebrows at Ruiz. "Or playing dice…"

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Lost and Found
By Creed Cascade and TJ

Excerpt:

Since he got back from the war, everyone said he was all grown up now and a man, so now they all called him Dan. Danny was just about to demand an explanation of the hauntingly familiar voice when the figure collapsed just at the edge of the light. Danny lowered the rifle and rushed to the stranger’s side. He crouched down beside the crumpled figure and turned him over.

"Doc?" Danny gasped and dropped the shotgun into the dirt. When Doc didn’t answer, he patted his cheek. "Doc? That you?"

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Perspective
by DC
Late at night, when neither man can sleep, Johnny decides to confront Myron about Alex and his grief for her.

Excerpt:

"What’s your point, McKay?" Myron wasn’t sure if he spoke out loud. And if he did, whether the pilot even heard him.

"She wrote this article about you and Anderson. About who the two of you were and how much she admired you both. How much your men grieved for you but knew they had to move on." There was a long pause and Myron prayed the pilot had finally said enough. "Did she show it to you, Goldman? When she told you she was leaving for Paris, did she show you the story she wrote about the Jewish lieutenant who died with his sergeant?"

"McKay-"

"I just want to know, Goldman."

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Rain
by DC
A stolen moment after Rediscovery inspired by the artwork from the Theban Band.

Excerpt:

Zeke knew Myron had to resolve this in his mind. Just for tonight. Myron wasn’t ready to think past more than that. He started to panic, honestly panic if he let himself think past anything more than the immediate. If he avoided thinking about the future, he couldn’t be hurt. Zeke knew the game the boy was playing. He let Myron have it if it meant that Myron could deal with this.

One day at a time. In reality, it was all either of them could promise to each other.

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Rediscovery
by DC
When Myron is wounded, Zeke decides to finally tell him how he really feels. But neither man is prepared for Goldman’s reaction and a rare friendship is strained beyond its limits.

Excerpt:

Zeke didn’t even realize what he was doing. Just that something had given way inside and he was reaching across. "I almost coulda lost ya today," he whispered. He tenderly traced gentle fingers across Myron’s cheek and along his jawline.

The younger man froze under the touch, every muscle going rigid. His eyes darkened to black as first disbelief and then cold fury raced in. Zeke felt the immediate change, drew back in shock with the realization of what he had done. Despite the heat and mugginess in the air, the hootch seemed suddenly several degrees cooler.

"Oh man, I’m so sorry, L-T- Christ, I didn’t-"

"I think you should leave now, Sergeant." The words, spoken barely above a whisper, were clipped and short.

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Figurin' It Out
By Jaz
Zeke’s rambling thoughts during the chopper ride back to base after the suicide mission in Lonesome Cowboy Blues.

Excerpt:

I didn’t argue with my LT, though. Just had to let it slide. Can’t be arguing with my CO in front of Captain Carey. Not that I care what the prick thinks of me. But I do care what he thinks of my LT. Most officers I’ve met ain’t worth the spit they use to shine their shoes. Not LT, though. He’s different. He cares about the men. Cares about ’em a hell of a lot. He knows that just cuz a man’s a grunt, don’t mean his life’s there for the wastin’. LT’s never gonna throw away a man’s life for nothin’. Just wouldn’t happen. I expect he remembers every damn one we lost. Every one. He probably always will.

Hell, that ain’t hard to figure out.

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Suicide Missions
By Kallie
An intense mission leaves Myron completely confused.

Excerpt:

“Zeke, they’re coming in.” I’m face down in the dirt, my heart pounding in my throat. Don’t you dare leave me. “C’mon, Zeke!”

He dives into the makeshift foxhole as explosions fall from the sky and torch everything in their path. Zeke sprawls protectively over top of me, covering every inch of my body with his own as debris rains down upon us. Muscled arms wrap securely around my chest, squeezing me in a tight bear hug. The sheer weight of him, solid and comforting.

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And I Believe
by Major Brat
Back in the world, there are things that need to be confronted by Myron, while Zeke learns everything he needs to know about faith.

Excerpt:

Myron moved forward slowly, dressed in his Class As and holding a bouquet of wildflowers he had picked on his way across the meadow.  It was harder to breathe the closer he walked towards her final resting place.  His feet felt as if they weighed tons.  He tried to steady himself with a deep breath as he knelt before the granite stone.  His fingers stretched out to touch the name engraved years ago on the stone.  He leaned forward to rest his forehead on the cool, smooth surface.   The pain was always there for him, it was just easier to bear some days than others, but it still remained.   This was the first time in a long time that he had let himself sink back into those old memories.

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Relearning
by Major Brat
An internal monologue given by Myron Goldman on life in Vietnam.

Excerpt:

You learn to cope any way you can. "Don’t mean nothin’, not a thing." "Fresh meat, boys, the boat’s just come in." "Shoot ‘em all and let God sort out the rest." Some of you wait until you get back to your hootch before you think about it, sobbing like children into your pillows before your roommates show up. Some of you drown your sorrows in booze, cigarettes, pot and hookers. You grab your R&R passes and head to the nearest boom-boom bar. You joke, you laugh, and you fuck your cares away.

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Reprimand
by Major Brat
A reprimand from Darling has surprising results.

"Look now, L.T., you are one of the best guys I've ever met in my life. And I ain't just sayin' that either. Regardless, what you did out there today was wrong. I appreciate it, I really do, but you're gonna get yourself neck deep in hot water if ya don't think these things through before you act on them." Zeke stood up and walked towards Myron, laying his hand on the younger man's shoulder.

Myron felt as if every cell in his body combusted at that touch. "Damn it, Zeke, how can you not understand how I feel!? How can you be so damn blind!?" Myron yanked away from his sergeant's grasp. "You really think I was going to just leave you there? No way in hell! They'd have had to shoot me to stop me from coming back to get you."

Zeke shook his head. "L.T., you gotta calm down a bit here."

"I will NOT calm down! Damn it, Zeke! Can't you see?"

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Seems Like Old Times
by Mel
Back in the World, Myron and Zeke run into an old acquaintance and Myron gets a surprise.

Excerpt:

Horn grinned and shook his head bemusedly. "I just can't get over seeing you guys here. I found out not so long ago that you'd both made it out of 'Nam. I'd been wondering about you...Then, out of the blue, I got a Christmas card from Scott Baker. Told me what all the guys were doing these days. He didn't provide any details on either of you, just said you were back in the States."

Myron smiled wryly at that. Scott Baker was doing his level best to keep them all in touch, whether they wanted to or not. He supposed it wasn't such a bad thing. But it was awkward trying to hide the fact that he and Zeke were living together, and not as roommates. He didn't think the guys would be thrilled to find out their former CO and sergeant were now lovers.

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Anytime, Anywhere: Army Jeep PWP

By Meryn

 

Excerpt:

 

...He’d knocked softly before second thoughts set in. It was nearly 2am, for God’s sake. What was he supposed to say, to the one man who could always see right through his bullshit?

 

There was no movement from within, he realized with relief. Myron turned around and stood facing out into the dark camp, getting his bearings and deciding to take one more turn through camp, just to give McKay plenty of time to drop off again.

"You just gonna stand there all night?"

Myron spun around. "Jesus, Anderson!"

A disheveled Anderson stood in the open doorway, rumpled t-shirt, cropped hair more unruly than usual, and a clingy pair of army green shorts as his only other clothing – he had obviously just awakened. His arm was raised and resting against the door frame, looking Myron over.

 

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Old and New Habits
By Meryn

Excerpt:

He hadn’t realized they had set down and the team was offloading, he was so caught up in his fierce thoughts, until Sergeant Anderson touched his arm. Myron drew back as if burned. Glared at the man for daring to intrude on his thoughts, and because he was angry with himself for reacting so visibly.

Steady as always, Anderson didn’t even flinch. A flicker of concern crossed his rugged features, and somehow that made Myron more angry than anything else.

Damn the man.

Myron snatched up his weapon with a vengeance and left the chopper, turning his back on Anderson and his damned concern, the piercing blue eyes that were so *knowing.*

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Searching Soul
By SassyInkPen
Myron returns home from Vietnam with questions that need answers. Companion to "Soul Searching" - can be read in either order.

Excerpt:

I don't know when I stopped thinking of him as just another soldier. Some egotistical chopper jock. All I know is that when I figured it out, it hit me like an RPG round. And when he went away and this feeling didn't, then I knew I was in trouble. So here I am, half a year later, standing in a dingy hallway, staring at a worn apartment door...still trying to figure it all out. This kind of thing wasn't supposed to happen to me. My life is supposed to be by the book, and this is not by the book at all. It's not even on the same shelf as the rest of my life, and I don't really know how to handle that. But I have to know. I have to know if it's real, or some kind of...itch.

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Soul Searching
By SassyInkPen
Johnny is faced with something entirely unexpected...and his reaction to it surprises him as well. Companion to "Searching Soul" - can be read in either order.

Excerpt:

Then it hits me like a ton of bricks. It all makes a hell of a lot more sense...his nervousness, the way he was clinging to me. As the idea works its way through my mind, some things back in the hootch might make a little more sense too, I'm not sure.

"Holy shit." I lean back, surprised. I never expected this - not from Goldman.

"You know...I'm sorry, McKay, I probably shouldn't have said anything." He takes his hand off me, looking confused and lost. "I just had to try...but I-I don't know what I was expecting."

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Rough Boys
By witchbaby

Excerpt:

I never learn, when it comes right down to it. I think that’s my main problem in life: I just never learn. Keep forging ahead, when I should damn well know better, because...well, because I’m curious. I know it can get annoying, the way I need to prod at every exposed nerve just to see what’ll happen. Certain people bring this out in me more than others. Goldman’s a prime example. The more he closes himself off, the more I want to push at those walls till they break. The best part (I guess he might argue this with you) is when I push so much that he just snaps and the walls don’t just fall down, they shatter, kinda spectacularly.

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