|Story Summaries and Excerpts:
When they meet in the hooch, its trouble. Always trouble, like
a physical thing, like a tangible blackness that fills up Zeke's hollow places and seeps
through his pores. He comes here to Zeke, sneaking in after lights-out. The enemys
out there, but hes inside, too. The dark taste of his flesh, sweat and cigarettes
and desperation: this is what Zeke needs here, what he needs in order to escape for these
mere seconds. Then hes gone and Zeke's alone. Blind in all this black.
It's The Small Things
By Creed Cascade
"Were not alone that often," Myron whispered in a
heavily slurred voice, his hand falling onto Zekes shoulder. "I like it when
"I know, LT," Zeke answered him patiently and started
pulling off Myrons stained fatigues.
By Creed Cascade
"Roo, dont start," Taylor cut him off. "Just
dont start with me today. Do you think I want to be here? Id rather being
doing other things
"Like what?" Ruiz asked with narrowed eyes.
"Like you, for one." Taylor actually wiggled his eyebrows
at Ruiz. "Or playing dice
Lost and Found
By Creed Cascade and TJ
Since he got back from the war, everyone said he was all grown up
now and a man, so now they all called him Dan. Danny was just about to demand an
explanation of the hauntingly familiar voice when the figure collapsed just at the edge of
the light. Danny lowered the rifle and rushed to the strangers side. He crouched
down beside the crumpled figure and turned him over.
"Doc?" Danny gasped and dropped the shotgun into the dirt.
When Doc didnt answer, he patted his cheek. "Doc? That you?"
Late at night, when neither man can sleep, Johnny decides to confront Myron about Alex
and his grief for her.
"Whats your point, McKay?" Myron wasnt sure if
he spoke out loud. And if he did, whether the pilot even heard him.
"She wrote this article about you and Anderson. About who the
two of you were and how much she admired you both. How much your men grieved for you but
knew they had to move on." There was a long pause and Myron prayed the pilot had
finally said enough. "Did she show it to you, Goldman? When she told you she was
leaving for Paris, did she show you the story she wrote about the Jewish lieutenant who
died with his sergeant?"
"I just want to know, Goldman."
A stolen moment after Rediscovery inspired by the artwork from the Theban Band.
Zeke knew Myron had to resolve this in his mind. Just for tonight. Myron wasnt
ready to think past more than that. He started to panic, honestly panic if he let himself
think past anything more than the immediate. If he avoided thinking about the future, he
couldnt be hurt. Zeke knew the game the boy was playing. He let Myron have it if it
meant that Myron could deal with this.
One day at a time. In reality, it was all either of them could promise to each other.
When Myron is wounded, Zeke decides to finally tell him how he really feels. But
neither man is prepared for Goldmans reaction and a rare friendship is strained
beyond its limits.
Zeke didnt even realize what he was doing. Just that something had given
way inside and he was reaching across. "I almost coulda lost ya today," he
whispered. He tenderly traced gentle fingers across Myrons cheek and along his
The younger man froze under the touch, every muscle going rigid. His eyes darkened to
black as first disbelief and then cold fury raced in. Zeke felt the immediate change, drew
back in shock with the realization of what he had done. Despite the heat and mugginess in
the air, the hootch seemed suddenly several degrees cooler.
"Oh man, Im so sorry, L-T- Christ, I didnt-"
"I think you should leave now, Sergeant." The words, spoken barely above a
whisper, were clipped and short.
Figurin' It Out
Zekes rambling thoughts during the chopper ride back to base after the suicide
mission in Lonesome Cowboy Blues.
I didnt argue with my LT, though. Just had to let it slide.
Cant be arguing with my CO in front of Captain Carey. Not that I care what the prick
thinks of me. But I do care what he thinks of my LT. Most officers Ive met
aint worth the spit they use to shine their shoes. Not LT, though. Hes
different. He cares about the men. Cares about em a hell of a lot. He knows that
just cuz a mans a grunt, dont mean his lifes there for the wastin.
LTs never gonna throw away a mans life for nothin. Just wouldnt
happen. I expect he remembers every damn one we lost. Every one. He probably always will.
Hell, that aint hard to figure out.
An intense mission leaves Myron completely confused.
Zeke, theyre coming in. Im face down in the
dirt, my heart pounding in my throat. Dont you dare leave me.
He dives into the makeshift foxhole as explosions fall from the sky
and torch everything in their path. Zeke sprawls protectively over top of me, covering
every inch of my body with his own as debris rains down upon us. Muscled arms wrap
securely around my chest, squeezing me in a tight bear hug. The sheer weight of him, solid
And I Believe
by Major Brat
Back in the world, there are things that need to be confronted by Myron, while Zeke
learns everything he needs to know about faith.
Myron moved forward slowly, dressed in his Class As and holding a
bouquet of wildflowers he had picked on his way across the meadow. It was harder to
breathe the closer he walked towards her final resting place. His feet felt as if
they weighed tons. He tried to steady himself with a deep breath as he knelt before
the granite stone. His fingers stretched out to touch the name engraved years ago on
the stone. He leaned forward to rest his forehead on the cool, smooth surface.
The pain was always there for him, it was just easier to bear some days than
others, but it still remained. This was the first time in a long time that he
had let himself sink back into those old memories.
by Major Brat
An internal monologue given by Myron Goldman on life in Vietnam.
You learn to cope any way you can. "Dont mean
nothin, not a thing." "Fresh meat, boys, the boats just come
in." "Shoot em all and let God sort out the rest." Some of you wait
until you get back to your hootch before you think about it, sobbing like children into
your pillows before your roommates show up. Some of you drown your sorrows in booze,
cigarettes, pot and hookers. You grab your R&R passes and head to the nearest
boom-boom bar. You joke, you laugh, and you fuck your cares away.
by Major Brat
A reprimand from Darling has surprising results.
"Look now, L.T., you are one of the best guys I've ever met in
my life. And I ain't just sayin' that either. Regardless, what you did out there today was
wrong. I appreciate it, I really do, but you're gonna get yourself neck deep in hot water
if ya don't think these things through before you act on them." Zeke stood up and
walked towards Myron, laying his hand on the younger man's shoulder.
Myron felt as if every cell in his body combusted at that touch.
"Damn it, Zeke, how can you not understand how I feel!? How can you be so damn
blind!?" Myron yanked away from his sergeant's grasp. "You really think I was
going to just leave you there? No way in hell! They'd have had to shoot me to stop me from
coming back to get you."
Zeke shook his head. "L.T., you gotta calm down a bit
"I will NOT calm down! Damn it, Zeke! Can't you see?"
Seems Like Old Times
Back in the World, Myron and Zeke run into an old acquaintance and Myron gets a
Horn grinned and shook his head bemusedly. "I just can't get
over seeing you guys here. I found out not so long ago that you'd both made it out of
'Nam. I'd been wondering about you...Then, out of the blue, I got a Christmas card from
Scott Baker. Told me what all the guys were doing these days. He didn't provide any
details on either of you, just said you were back in the States."
Myron smiled wryly at that. Scott Baker was doing his level best to
keep them all in touch, whether they wanted to or not. He supposed it wasn't such a bad
thing. But it was awkward trying to hide the fact that he and Zeke were living together,
and not as roommates. He didn't think the guys would be thrilled to find out their former
CO and sergeant were now lovers.
Anytime, Anywhere: Army Jeep PWP
softly before second thoughts set in. It was nearly 2am, for Gods sake. What was he
supposed to say, to the one man who could always see right through his bullshit?
There was no movement from within, he realized with relief. Myron
turned around and stood facing out into the dark camp, getting his bearings and deciding
to take one more turn through camp, just to give McKay plenty of time to drop off again.
"You just gonna stand there all night?"
Myron spun around. "Jesus, Anderson!"
A disheveled Anderson stood in the open doorway, rumpled t-shirt, cropped hair more
unruly than usual, and a clingy pair of army green shorts as his only other clothing
he had obviously just awakened. His arm was raised and resting against the door
frame, looking Myron over.
Old and New Habits
He hadnt realized they had set down and the team was
offloading, he was so caught up in his fierce thoughts, until Sergeant Anderson touched
his arm. Myron drew back as if burned. Glared at the man for daring to intrude on his
thoughts, and because he was angry with himself for reacting so visibly.
Steady as always, Anderson didnt even flinch. A flicker of
concern crossed his rugged features, and somehow that made Myron more angry than anything
Damn the man.
Myron snatched up his weapon with a vengeance and left the chopper,
turning his back on Anderson and his damned concern, the piercing blue eyes that were so
Myron returns home from Vietnam with questions that need answers. Companion to
"Soul Searching" - can be read in either order.
I don't know when I stopped thinking of him as just another soldier.
Some egotistical chopper jock. All I know is that when I figured it out, it hit me like an
RPG round. And when he went away and this feeling didn't, then I knew I was in trouble. So
here I am, half a year later, standing in a dingy hallway, staring at a worn apartment
door...still trying to figure it all out. This kind of thing wasn't supposed to happen to
me. My life is supposed to be by the book, and this is not by the book at all. It's not
even on the same shelf as the rest of my life, and I don't really know how to handle that.
But I have to know. I have to know if it's real, or some kind of...itch.
Johnny is faced with something entirely unexpected...and his reaction to it surprises
him as well. Companion to "Searching Soul" - can be read in either order.
Then it hits me like a ton of bricks. It all makes a hell of a lot
more sense...his nervousness, the way he was clinging to me. As the idea works its way
through my mind, some things back in the hootch might make a little more sense too, I'm
"Holy shit." I lean back, surprised. I never expected this
- not from Goldman.
"You know...I'm sorry, McKay, I probably shouldn't have said
anything." He takes his hand off me, looking confused and lost. "I just had to
try...but I-I don't know what I was expecting."
I never learn, when it comes right down to it. I think thats
my main problem in life: I just never learn. Keep forging ahead, when I should damn well
know better, because...well, because Im curious. I know it can get annoying, the way
I need to prod at every exposed nerve just to see whatll happen. Certain people
bring this out in me more than others. Goldmans a prime example. The more he closes
himself off, the more I want to push at those walls till they break. The best part (I
guess he might argue this with you) is when I push so much that he just snaps and the
walls dont just fall down, they shatter, kinda spectacularly.